An Obsidian Potency PSA: Men Getting Screwed

DATE: 06/10/2003 06:10:37 PM
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"This is ANOTHER public service announcement brought to you in part...by Obsidian Potency."

This is hardly the first time that this has come to light.  Men's Health ran an article on this a month ago, and now <a href="http://www.askmen.com/fashion/austin_60/92_fashion_style.html">this article provides more information</a> - albeit biased - on why we should decry the sad state of men's rights when it comes to divorce and child custody.

Not too long ago, it used to be women who undoubtedly got the shaft when they got divorced; the man owed them nothing at all, and could walk away free of responsibility.  Now, however, things are very, very different - at least, in the United States.  The basic premise of the article is true: when it comes to divorce, men get fucked.  Often, men are asked to pay alimony (on average 40% of their income) even if the woman is found to be at fault, abuses her children and/or makes more money than the man in the marriage.  Even more often, the courts don't change child support and alimony amounts when a man's income goes down (of course, the flipside is that they will adjust alimony if his income goes up).  Visitation rights for men often go unenforced.  And if men want custody of the children?  Forget it.  THe woman always gets preference, since she is the 'nuturer'.  It's a very outmoded way of looking at things.

I am a child of divorce (it happened when I was 10), and I am lucky enough to have two very responsible parents who never shirked their responsibilities.  I dont' hold any grudges about the fact they split up, because it was probably a good idea.  That said, I do have some experience with the U.S. system, and I have to agree: men aren't "supposed" to care according to our legal system. The laws ARE structured to give the impression that men have to be trapped like rats and placed in a hammerlock to get them to own up to their responsibilities as divorced parents.  For men who really *are* responsible fathers, divorce can be quite humiliating.

Worse, many states have resorted to the privatization of child care collection.  This means private companies are given the authority of the government in order to make sure men pay child support.  Sounds good on the surface, doesn't it?  I mean, who likes deadbeat dads?  Trouble is, these companies are (of course) in it for the money.  They often garnish a percentage of the child support they collect, taking money from those who need it most.  How sleazy is that?  Plus, because they are so greedy, many of them keep collecting child support even after the parents reconcile and move back in together.  Imagine a man paying child support for children he lives with!  Disgusting, isn't it?

I refuse to blame radical feminism for the current sad state of affairs in divorce.  It's the fault of both overzealous public policy and aggressive campaigning by politicians who try to "get tough" on issues that look good to a constituency.  All in all, it makes the proposition of marriage a frightening one for men.  After all, over 50% of marriages end in divorce - and if you're a dude, the prospects of being able to support yourself comfortably get a lot bleaker if you have to give up your children, house, cars and 40% of your income for the rest of your life.  Unfortunately, men haven't been as vocal as they should be regarding this issue.

I am very curious to hear others' views - so much so that I almost didn't call this a PSA.  What changes do you think should be made, if any?  And if the system is fine, how do you counter those who argue for change?

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