I had my iPod fixed in about 25 minutes or so. Turns out that an internal cable had come loose, preventing the iPod from recognizing the drive. Apparently, that is a fairly common problem. The guy who fixed it for me was surprisingly competent; turns out he was a "Lead Mac Genius" for Northern Virginia. He commented on my outraged note included in my service request, telling me that my constant problems were highly unusual.
He gave me his card, and said that I should contact him directly if I had any more problems, and they would certainly help me with a satisfying resolution to the issue. Finally, he said he knows I didn't abuse my iPod; he said he can tell when people abuse them, and mine showed no unusual signs of wear.
If I have any more problems, I know who to contact. Now THAT is service. Maybe I got lucky with my attendant. But for now, Apple, you have redeemed yourself in my eyes.
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